Elizabeth Warren Needs a Version 2.018

Even with the knowledge that it was meant to be an occasion for celebration, they still needed a coping mechanism against the anticipated overcast, overearnest, and overwrought monotony. So, they put their fully formed, still sober minds to work, realizing there would be no safe spaces from which to escape. They created in advance The Elizabeth Warren Drinking Game.
Simultaneously honoring and mocking "Massachusetts' favorite Senator," UMass Amherst's theblacksheeponline.com instructed The Class of 2017 to "rip a nip" if Warren "says and/or mentions" during her commencement address any of the following: How She Started Law School with a Two-Year Old Daughter; Student Debt; W.E.B. Du Bois; The Disappearing Middle Class; Female Leaders; "It's time to fight back"; and, The Donald. Seriously.